About a week ago someone posted a very rude and sexual comment on the Face Book page for Trans Girl Writer. This was not the first such message that I’ve received, but it was the first openly public one. I was quite understandably upset and angry with this comment and went on something of a rant on Face Book about receiving these kinds of messages and being the focus of some peoples fetishes.
I posted this rant on a couple of Face Book pages that are designed for transgender people, for them to share their thoughts and feelings and talk to other people in the same situation as them. For the most part people were of the same opinion as me and I received a lot of positive feedback about what I had written.
However, on one particular group, which I will not name, I began to receive negative comments. Rather than these comments being targeted at what I had written though, they were targeted towards me. The comments became directed towards how it was my fault for attracting these kinds of comments and messages towards myself.
After a while these comments began to change towards people turning around and accusing me of making the whole thing up, and even lying about being transgender in the first place. Their basis for such conclusions are based in the fact that I don’t have any pictures of myself on my Face Book page.
I’m early on in my transition, I’ve never lied about what stage I’m in, so I don’t like the way I look. I don’t like to look in the mirror and see a man looking back at me, so there is no way on earth that I’d post pictures of a body that I would hate on my Face Book for the whole world to see. I’ve read countless accounts of transgender people that don’t like pictures of themselves pre or early transition and have even gone so far as to destroy these pictures of themselves.
For another transgender person to turn around to me and say that unless I post a picture of myself then they’re going to assume that I’m a guy just pretending to be a girl is horrible. Even when trying to put my point across to them that I am being truthful and indeed transgender they just continued to bombard me with insulting and hurtful comments, even going so far as to advising me to ‘seek professional help’.
It’s bad enough that we become the target of bullying from the rest of the world, simply for being born different from everyone else, but to have people within the community turn on you because you don’t fit into their opinion of what a trans person is or should be doing is terrible. We should be helping each other and giving our support to fellow transgender people, not attacking them.
The comments made have since disappeared from he conversation thread, either by an admin removing them or the original commenter taking back what they have said, but the damage from these comments has already been made. It’s ruined my day. I feel like complete shit and just want to break down into tears.
It wasn’t a trans hater or a bigot who made me feel like that, it was another transgender person. This elitism of ‘I’m more of a trans person than you’ or ‘if you don’t do it a certain way you’re not really trans’ is disgusting and destructive to the community. We need to work together here people. If we can’t even accept and support each other how can we expect the rest of the world to do so?
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