Riddick-ulously Good Fun

I’ve been finding it hard to post on my blog lately.  It might be down to the fact that I started it when I was unemployed and now that I’m working a full time job I’ve got bugger all time to myself anymore.  It might also be down to what I’ve found myself thinking of something of  rather British way of writing.  Every time I do one of my reviews I’m always trying to write things ‘level-headed’, to find the good in things I’ve not enjoyed or to present a level argument as to not piss anyone off and appeal to as broad an audience as possible.  All good in theory, but it does make things dull to write and take more time as I’m always trying to be ‘nice’.  Well you know what…

FUCK THAT!

The world seems to be full of loud angry dicks who just shout out their opinions on things with no attempt at being either reasonable or coherent and get showered with praise.  So that’s where I find myself standing now, at a crossroads on how to proceed.  Do I carry on as I am, being nice and well reasoned and trying to squeeze out a post every now and then until I reach the inevitable point of insane boredom with thee whole things and just let my blog die?  Or do I just try to have a little bit more fun with things and not give a shit if I drive off some people who just wont agree with some of my opinions?

Well I’ve gone with option number two.  So be prepared to see me turn into an opinionated dick who will say it as I see it whether you like it or not.  With that statement in mind you might be expecting my review of the latest Vin Diesel growlathon ‘Riddick’ to be an excuse to just let rip and tear the film apart like most other reviewers have seemed to enjoy doing.

Not this time!  No, I like the Riddick films.  Yes they’re over the top and silly and Riddick himself oozes so much testosterone that he’s like the thing that grew out of the cum muffin came if played by Arnie, Stallone and Dolph Lungren (not Bruce Willis though because he’s that much of a tosser that he’d ruin a game all about being a fucking tosser!).  There are faults a plenty as each film seems to flip around all over  the place in tone and setting and has created what can only be described as a incoherent universe, but you know what it’s still entertaining.

I’d much rather watch a film like this, one that takes risks and tries some new things rather than just playing by the standard formula.  The Riddick films were somewhat lucrative but never massively successful to the point of warranting a studio made sequel, hence this new film being for all intense and purposes an independant movie.  It was made as a thank you to those fans that stood by the franchise when everyone else tore it apart and an acknowledgement that this was the series that launched Vin Diesels career.

Riddick as Lord Marshall of the Necromongers.

It’s because of this that I can’t help but see the film as a much worthier sequel than many of the other franchise films released in 2013.  It’s got more character than Hugh  Jackman’s latest outing as ‘Wolverine’ and by god is it miles fucking better than the cinematic abortion that was ‘Iron-Man 3‘, the film that spent two years and countless trailers, tv spots, poster, interviews and fifty years of comic continuity building up the prospect of an Iron-Man fighting the Mandarin only for the film to turn around and fuck us in the arse!

‘Oh but it was really funny when Ben Kingsley was speaking in a silly English accent and drinking beer’.  Well FUCK YOU!  If you think that then you’re the kind of mouth breathing twats that Marvel Studios apparently now cares about more than actual fucking fans of the comics and characters.  I mean god fucking forbid they actually stay true to the essence of the character rather than just going for cheap fucking cinema laughs!  Wait, where was I?  Oh yeah, ‘Riddick‘.

‘Riddick’ follows on five years after the events of the last film, ‘The Chronicles of Riddick’, with the titular hero (because I fucking hate the term anti-hero) as the leader of the marauding space Goths the Necromongers.  A concept that got a lot of the piss taken out of it in the last film but one that I loved, I mean what’s not to like about fantasy/sci-fi mash up of necromancers and un-dead and the Borg.

Katee Sackhoff joins the franchise as Dahl the bounty hunter.

So there’s Riddick, enjoying all the perks of being Lord Marshall of the Necromongers, including long conversations with Karl Urban, funky armour and full frontal shaven crotched sex puppets (really, who wouldn’t go for that if they were ruler of the hot space Goths?  I know I fucking would!).  But after a while all that sex and sitting on a throne bores him and he longs for the home he never knew, Furia.

Off he pops with a little band of Necromongers who take him to what they assure him is Furia, only to say ‘sorry, no it isn’t dip shit!’ before trying to kill him.  Left for dead on a deserted planet Riddick is forced to fight monsters, hunt for food and raise a puppy in order to survive.  Eventually he finds a nicely abandoned bounty hunter station filled with traps and a distress beacon, which all comes in handy as he soon realises that an oncoming rain storm will awaken all the nasty beasties that are hibernating underground.

Exactly how he realised this isn’t really that clear, I can only surmise that he found a copy of the script lying around the planet and skipped ahead the sneaky bald bastard!  With no way off the planet and monsters on their way Riddick does the only ballsy thing he can do and activates the bounty hunter distress beacon, bringing a dozen highly equipped mercenaries to his front door.  All highly capable bad-asses they are soon reduced to screaming school girls when confronted by the man they came to hunt.

Riddick shows his softer side.

What ensues is a series of sneak attacks where Riddick slowly whittles down the ‘bad-guys’ (though in a film like this that term is pretty fucking redundant) until there’s a much more manageable number.  He sneaks into their camp, steals the mcguffin needed to fly one of the space ships and proceeds to leave the planet and makes his way to freedom.

Only kidding!  Well, while that would have been what anyone else what have done Riddick instead takes said item, drags it out into the desert for miles and buries it until the mercs agree to work together with him.  Again, exactly why he did this is again left completely unclear other than as to not have the film end there and then.

As expected the mercs think it over for all of five seconds before going ‘hell no you murdering nut job’ and lock him up just in time for the rain to come and wake up the man eating monsters.  What comes next is what could easily have felt like a complete rehash of the latter  half of ‘Pitch Black’ with Riddick and his uneasy allies trekking through monster infested planet with an important space ship component strapped to his back.

Yet somehow the film manages to keep things feeling fresh and original rather than just a straight copy and paste from the first film.  Character dynamics have shifted around and feels fresh and original. Though I still think Riddick could have saved himself a lot of bother by not hiding the one thing needed to escape but then the film would have had a much duller conclusion so I guess I’m going to over look some slight stupidity for further enjoyment.  Especially as we get to see more of Riddicks funky space dog who not only feels convincing and has a great personality all of his own.  I even found myself upset when it got killed, something I never thought would happen with a CGI character as they’re usually the first ones you’re hoping to see dead (yes I’m looking at you Jar Jar FUCKING BINKS!)

Does Riddick attract monsters or something?

The film ends with Riddick in a much better position for a sequel than the other two films, and I’d very much like to see another.  Riddick get off the planet (sorry SPOILER ALERT!) and is still determined to find his long lost home planet of Furia.  Something that doesn’t feel one hundred percent convincing unless you’ve seen the Directors Cut of the second movie that introduced a Furyan goddess/spirit guide/ excuse for another hot girl in the film and gave Riddick super special Furyan powers (I shit you not he got super powers in that version of the film!).

Without all that extra back story and mythology that was cut out of the regular theatrical release of the film it just feels a bit weird that Riddick is that gung-ho about finding Furia.  I mean he only really just found out that he’s one of the last survivors of a race of alien warriors that were wiped out by a galactic despot because he heard a prophecy that one of them would one day rise up and kill him, and holy fuck I just realised that it’s a massive fucking rip off of Dragonball Z the plagiaristic bastards!  Still, makes Riddick a better Dragonball film than ‘Dragonball Evolution‘!

Amy.

xx

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'Circles' & 'A Stranger Comes To Town'

I’m pleased to be able to introduce the readers of my blog to two wonderful web comics that I’ve had the privalage to work on as the letterer, ‘Circles’ and ‘A Stranger Comes To Town’, by the up and coming new writer Mario Covone.

‘Circles’ is a partially autobiographical story that follows a group of teenagers in 90’s England, their friendships, loves and their lives.  With art by the talented Frank J. Wright ‘Circles’ was nominated for best artist in the 2013 Arcade Awards.

‘A Stranger Comes To Town’ is a horror series following a group of aliens that have come to earth to destroy humanity and are gathering an army of mythological creatures and monsters to help them in their aims.  ‘A Stranger Comes To Town’ features art from first time comic artist Glenn McCabe.

Please head over to mariocovone.com to read these fantastic new books!

Amy.
xx

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Doctor Who 'Time of the Doctor' Review

‘The Time of The Doctor’ marks the end of Matt Smiths three year journey in the Tardis and the beginning of the Peter Capaldi era.  The episode also marks the culmination of three years of interconnected plot threads that have been laid down by series show runner Steven Moffat since the very first time we heard the words ‘silence will fall’ in Smiths first episode.

‘The Time of The Doctor’ follows the Doctors last adventure as he spends hundreds of years protecting the planet of Trenzalore from massive assault from dozens of his enemies, including Sontarans, Weeping Angels, Cybermen and of course Daleks.

Old enemies and allies gather over Trenzalore.

Having discovered a mysterious signal being sent out across the whole of the universe originating at Trenzalore the Doctor finds at its point of origin a crack in the universe, as seen during series five.  It turns out that the signal is in fact a message being sent through the crack by the Time Lords after the events of ‘Day of The Doctor’ and the removal of Galifrey from the universe.

The signal is a question, the oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight.  ‘Doctor Who?’  Only the Doctor himself can answer that question, and when he does the Time Lords will return.  Whilst the Doctor wants nothing more than to see the return of his people and his home, to no longer be the last of his race, unfortunately their return would mean the start of a second Time War.

The Doctors life begins to run out.

It is during this siege of Trenzalore that Clara learns a terrifying truth about the Doctor, that he can no longer regenerate and that the eleventh version is in fact the last.   Sticking to the twelve regenerations rule established decades ago Moffat faces probably one of the most difficult jobs that a writer can probably face on Doctor Who.  How do you give the Doctor more regenerations.

Whilst it didn’t happen the way I thought it might, I was expecting that the Doctor received more regenerations already in ‘Lets Kill Hitler’ when River Song used the remainder of her regenerations to save the Doctors life, it still felt like a natural part of the mythology for the Time Lords to gift the Doctor with a new regeneration cycle.  They have done it before with the Master after all.

The eleventh Doctor's era comes to a close.

The episode isn’t one of the most exciting or spectacular, yet it’s full of tender character moments, fantastic comedy and enough shocks that mean you’ll never know what to expect next.  With the further promise of the return of the Time Lords as the focus of the show going forward, great performances from both Smith and Coleman, the surprise return of Karen Gillan and some classic monsters seen in some interesting new ways (wooden Cybermen!) ‘The Time of The Doctor’ proved to be one of the more interesting and daring Christmas episodes in years.

A good episode that doesn’t quite wrap up everything in the Moffat/Smith era as completely as would be desired but nonetheless a competent and entertaining story.  7/10

Amy.
xx

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Merry Christmas 2013

I'd like to wish all of my readers and all of my friends a very merry Christmas.  I hope that you are all having  great time with friends and family and that you get some great presents. 

Hopefully my new job will settle down soon and I can resume writing more new posts for you all.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Amy.
Xx

Supernatural 'I'm No Angel' Review

Where episode one of the new season focused on the angel problem and episode two the return of Abaddon the third episode takes a quieter moment to follow the journey of Castiel and his adjustment to being human.

As Sam and Dean attempt to find their wayward former angel Castiel tries to make his way across the country to the Winchester bunker, spending his time working in a shelter, making friends with the homeless and even unwittingly flirting his way into a woman’s bed.  All this is done with a child like blunder and naivete that is more touching than silly.

Bartholomew plots his campaign to retake heaven.

During the search for Castiel we are also introduced to yet another potentially hostile faction in the form of the angel Bartholomew.  A former underling of Naomi, Bartholomew is using an internet priest to find people willing to let the fallen angels to take possession of their bodies.

A slower paced but personal episode that sidelines the Winchesters to focus on Castiel yet also manages to introduce another of the ‘big players’ in the season story arc.  The episode is also noteworthy for introducing the first ever onscreen angel possession.  A beautiful special effect that acts as a perfect opposite to the demons black smoke.

A great episode that pushes Castiel to the fore and gives Misha Collins a chance to show more of his acting range.  8/10

Amy.
xx

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Arcade Awards Nomination

For the past few months now I’ve been working on a number of web comics with a great friend and fellow creator Mario Covone.  I have been privileged to be able to work on two of his books, ‘Circles’ and ‘A Stranger Comes To Town’, as a letterer and have loved working on them.

I’m very pleased to be able to announce however that ‘Circles’ has been nominated for an Arcade Award.  Frank J Right, the amazing artist on the book has been nominated for Best International Artist.

This is a great opportunity for Frank’s work to be appreciated for how great it is and for the other creators on the book to get recognised.  I know that my work on the book is fairly minimal and that lettering isn’t the most creative part of the whole process but I would love a book with a transgender creator on it to get some recognition.

So please, even if you are not a comic fan go along to the website and vote for Frank J Right for Best International Artist.

2013 Arcade Awards Voting

Amy.

xx

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 'Eye Spy' Review

Whilst episode three of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. was something of a disappointment it’s good to see the show returning to its previous higher standards with an entertaining and engaging fourth outing.

Beginning with a visually interesting, if somewhat bonkers opening scene involving dozens of men in suits and red masks making their way through the streets of Stockholm in order to transport a shipment of diamonds.  The episode quickly sets up the central focus when the mysterious and dangerous former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Akela appears and somehow uses some extra normal ability to find and take down her target.

A former protégé of Coulson and thought dead for a number of years the skilled former agent storyline could have very easily been a hackneyed ‘good guy gone bad’ episode.  Luckily the episode works wonderfully well thanks to the strong and understated performance from Pascale Armand.  Armand plays the character as a woman that has hit rock bottom and hates the situation she is in rather than being an over the top arch villain type performance.

Akela and Coulson come face to face.

Just like J August Richards in the pilot episode her performance goes a long way to outshine that of the regular cast and becomes yet another guest character who you’ll be wanting to see more of.

The episode also sets up yet another potential mystery/big bad for the season, alongside Rising Tide and Graviton, in the form of the shadowy ‘handlers’ that are controlling Akela and the British man that also had an eye implant.  Who are they, what are they up to and are there any more people like Akela out there?  I’m sure these are questions that we will learn more of throughout the rest of the season.

S.H.I.E.L.D. branded H2O, because writing 'water' isn't cool.

The episode also seems to confirm what many fans have been speculating about for a long while now, that Mutants, and more specifically the X-Men are not part of this Marvel universe.  When the possibilities of psychics is raised during the episode it’s quickly dismissed as impossible.  Whilst this was hardly unexpected due to Fox owning the rights to the X-Men franchise it makes me wonder just how they are going to handle the origins of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch in Avengers 2.

A competent and interesting episode that further builds upon the Marvel movie universe and the past of  Coulson.  More episodes like this please!  7/10

Amy.
xx

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Supernatural 'Devil May Care' Review

Where episode one of season nine focused mainly on the fall out of the previous year, and in particular the angels.  We saw how the fall effected them, how they now view the Winchesters and what’s going on with Castiel.  The second episode ‘Devil May Care’ shifts its focus to the demons and hell.  This separate look at both heaven and hell, taking the time to look at them properly and explore the characters and establishing a potential series arc.

It’s also good to see that after eight seasons family is still a central motif in the show, and really comes through well in this episode without feeling forced or hammy.  Particularly in the way that Kevin is brought into the extended Winchester family  more so than ever before.

Having spent the previous season locked away on Garths safe house boat he’s now in the bunker with Sam and Dean and hopefully well have a chance to grow as a character and have more amazing scenes like his torture of Crowley in this episode.  Dean’s heartfelt speech to Kevin concerning the fate of his mother is a very touching and unexpected moment, and one that really does bring Kevin into the Winchester family proper.

Crowley and Kevin are the emotional heart of the episode.

Whilst the B story focuses on Kevin and Crowley, both acted amazingly by Osric Chau and Mark Shepherd, the A story follows Sam and Dean as they are lured into a trap by one of the potential new big bads, Abaddon.

When Abaddon’s host was destroyed in the season eight finale I was massively disappointed as she was an amazing breath of fresh air to the show.  Luckily the fans of the show weren’t quiet about how much they enjoyed Aliana Huffman in the role that the show runners brought her back in a brilliantly creative way.  Once again the creators of Supernatural have listened to their fans and kept on another brilliant character.

Ezekiel flexes his epic wings.

The highlight of the entire episode for me though was the moment when Ezekiel took over control of Sam’s body and we got to see his damaged wings, one of the best angel shots and one of the most beautiful effects in the entire show.

With some great action, the return of Abaddon and Crowley and some brilliantly played character moments ‘Devil May Care’ is a great second episode and a perfect companion piece to the season opener.  I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen next.  8/10

Amy.

xx

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Arrow 'City of Heroes' Review

Ollie returns to help Starling City recover.

Season one of Arrow ended on a brilliant note, and one of the best episodes of the entire show to that point.  Luckily season 2 opens on such a strong episode that the show looks poised to carry on the momentum set up in last years finale.

‘City of Heroes’ begins with Ollie back on the island of Lian Yu in a form of self imposed exile after the events of the season 1 finale, having spent the previous five months there trying to come to terms with the failure of his mission and the loss of his best friend Tommy Merlyn.   Whilst the show could have very easily spent the whole of the first episode having Diggle and Felicity trying to get Ollie to return to Starling City, instead they spend only ten minutes doing so and the episode benefits from this quicker pace.

Quentin's been demoted but has a new found faith in The Hood.

Upon Ollie’s return to his home city we see that things have moved on a little from the events of the destruction of the Glades, but Starling City is still a city reeling from a massive disaster, with many citizens in dire need of someone like Ollie looking out for them.  Hopefully this will continue on throughout the rest of the year, as the Glades in season one were not exactly the horrible place Malcolm Merlyn made them out to be, though now they are.

It’s not just Ollie that’s changed over the last five months though, Thea has become the manager of Ollie’s nightclub Verdant and seems to have dramatically grown as a person and is already a much better character than she was in the whole of the previous year.

Laurel has taken the death of Tommy hard and has completely changed her outlook on The Hood and now sees him as a criminal and a threat to the city.  Though this is something of a rather big leap from her character last year it’s a great contrast to her father Quentin, who has since been demoted to a regular beat cop and is showing full support for the man he once hated.

Ollie's island adventure continues with Shado and Deathstroke.

The episode also goes a long way to looking at Ollie's emotional fallout following the tragic events of the last season and his new mission now that he is no longer just crossing names off a list.  There was a lot of controversy the previous year over Ollie’s willingness to kill, and it looks like the show has addressed that fact in a way that doesn’t feel out of place at all.  By stating that killing would ‘dishonour Tommy’s memory’ fits in perfectly to his current emotion situation and is sure to be a vow that will be sorely tested over the coming episodes.

The final moments of the episode also gave the audience a nice tease of things to come later in the season as well as a massive treat for comic book fans.  The first appearance of Black Canary, who could quite possibly end up being Roy’s vigilante mentor rather than Ollie.

Black Canary makes her first appearance in Arrow.

A very competent opening episode that continues on with the great new tone and status quo established at the end of season one.  Hopefully the series will continue to carry on at this great level.  8/10

Amy.
xx

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Is Tomorrow Finally The Day?

Tomorrow is a big day.  Tomorrow is my second appointment at the gender clinic, and it’s the one where I should be started on Hormone Replacement Therapy.  I say should though because so far nothing has gone right during my treatment.  Just a few weeks ago I had a meeting to discuss my case and go through all of the problems that have happened and ended with the NHS representative I was talking to admitting that over a year of my treatment was just wasted time.

This means that, through the myriad of both small and quite massive mistakes and problems on their part I should be well into my transition by now, possibly even living happily presenting as female.  Instead I’m still spending each day avoiding my reflection, feeling uncomfortable in my body, jealous of every cis female I see, self harming, crying myself to sleep and thinking of suicide.  It’s a long list of stuff to go through I know, but for those of you reading this that aren’t transgender that’s pretty much what it’s like, though I can only describe my experiences and not talk for the whole community.

Because of all of these mistakes and delays I have little to no faith in the NHS.  I had to go and organise and chase up getting my blood tests done in time for tomorrow’s appointment because that was yet another thing they hadn’t done correctly.

I have been told that tomorrow I will have a physical examination, my hormone levels will be analysed and I will start HRT.  However, I don’t for a second actually believe that that is what’s going to happen.  I expect to walk in there and be told that something hasn’t been done right, some kind of paperwork has gone missing or that I’m going to have to wait until my next appointment with them, which based on the gap between the first two will be another four months.

This very likely scenario scares the hell out of me.  I don’t know what to do in that situation, or even how I will handle it.  I just know that however I take it, it will not be well.

I can see myself bursting into tears.  I could refuse to leave until they give me the medication.  I could threaten the doctor or do something stupid like that.  I could act fine and then come home and hurt myself.  Or I could do something a lot, lot worse.

This is all maybe’s though.  There is a chance that things will go right for once, but I’ve just become so jaded with the whole situation that instead of being excited for tomorrow I’m absolutely terrified.  I’m sitting here panicking, trying to keep my breathing in control, trying not to cry and I know that it’s going to be almost impossible for me to get to sleep tonight.

I hope, I truly do hope that all of this stress and worry is for nothing and that tomorrow’s post will be a big celebration of starting HRT.  I just don’t believe it.  Tomorrow cold either be one of the best days of my life or it could be one of the worst.  I’ve never been so scared before.

Amy.
xx

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