Thursday 15 October 2020

How To Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess - Book Review

 

'Brave, witty and empowering, this graphic memoir follows Rebecca as she navigates her asexual identity and mental health in a world obsessed with sex. From school to work to relationships, this book offers an unparalleled insight into asexuality.'

Every day the LGBTQ+ community becomes more and more mainstream, awareness becomes more commonplace, and queer people are more accepted than ever. This doesn't mean that things are perfect, and hatred towards the queer community is still incredibly prevalent, though more and more people are becoming open to learning about our community, and learning to accept us for who we are. One of the parts of the LGBTQ+ community that is often overlooked, however, is the ace community, people who fall under the asexual and/or the aromantic umbrella.

How To Be Ace focuses on the real life experience of its creator, Rebecca Burgess, who is themself asexual, and seeks to normalise asexuality. The book follows Rebecca through their teenage years and into their early adult life, showing the difficulties they experienced navigating a world obsessed with sex.

The book does a good job of highlighting just how much of western society puts a focus on sex and physical relationships, something that most people probably wouldn't even realise until it's pointed out to them. It shows what it's like for an asexual person, who has no interest in being sexually active and even feels discomfort at physical attraction, to exist in a world where movie and TV push romance, where songs are about finding love or having lost it, where if you're not in a relationship people will constantly ask you when you're going to find a partner. Rebecca shows that whilst these things might seem small or inconsequential to others, to a young ace person it can be a constant, painful reminder that they're different.

This difference is one of the main focuses of the book, and we get to see Rebecca trying to figure out what this difference means. They're told by others that they simply needs to give things time, that they'll eventually feel sexual attraction, or that once they 'gets over' having sex things will be okay. This advice leads them down the path of thinking that there's something wrong with them, that they must be broken in some way, or that they're not 'normal'. Sadly this is a journey that is all too common for ace people, and one that needs to stop.

That's the beauty of this book, it tries to normalise the experience of being asexual, to teach those who might be unaware of asexuality that it's a real thing. Rebecca, like most ace people, are left feeling alone and 'wrong' until they discover that they're part of a bigger community, and that there's nothing wrong with who they are. Books like this are important for helping raise awareness of the ace community, both for those who are members, and those who aren't. For members of the community it can help them find their community, and for others it helps to educate.

How To Be Ace has an engaging story, but that's not the important part, it's the push to help others like Rebecca that makes it special. This isn't a book that I'd recommend for the story, as good as it is, but as a resource to normalise asexuality, to allow younger people to learn about the ace community and to treat those who are a part of it as regular people.


Buy Amy A Coffee

Go to Amy's Blog

1 comment:

  1. Hi: How about listing TransgenderPublishing.ca which is a publisher of transgender related books, both non-fiction and fiction. Please check out their website for more information. New books about trans elders include Glimmerings and TRANScestors.

    ReplyDelete