'Eight stories of literary dark fiction from a master storyteller. Exploring the shadow side of love, these are tales of grief, obsession, control. Intricate examinations of trauma and tragedy in raw, poetic prose. In these narratives, a woman imagines horrific scenarios whilst caring for her infant niece; on-line posts chronicle a cancer diagnosis; a couple in the park with their small child encounter a stranger with horrific consequences; a toxic relationship reaches a terrifying resolution…'
Where to start with this collection of stories? My only experience with Eric La Rocca was their previous book, Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, and I found that to an incredibly interesting read. Of the three stories presented in that collection I found that one didn't really do a huge amount for me, one was a very interesting slow burn story that felt very ghostly, and the other was incredibly disturbing, disgusting, and unsettling. It felt like a very broad mixture of styles, and I wasn't sure which of those I'd be getting in this book; which of LaRocca's styles would be the dominant one that would come through more often.
Whilst there are some spooky stories thrown into the mix here, with the first story the book presents you with being a prime example of this, for me most of these stories ended up falling into the latter category; the one that's designed to shock and disgust the reader. LaRocca's stories seem designed to make the reader gasp, to push you to the point where you're not sure if you want to keep reading, and to make your stomach turn.
The first story in the book that does this is the second one, 'Bodies Are For Burning', and I felt that this story makes it pretty clear that there's not going to be much in this collection that's off the table, or too taboo for LaRocca to bring into the mix. The story follows an aunt who's looking after her very young niece. The woman is recently widowed, and is finding it hard to deal with the fallout of that; especially because their thoughts about burning people keeps coming to the fore. She's had these thoughts all her life, but never acted on them. But now she's afraid that she's going to hurt the baby she's left in charge of. Through her internal monologue we get descriptions of the things she wants to do to the kid, like putting her in the oven and watching her scream as she cooks, or holding her hands over the burners on her cooker. The imagery is visceral, disturbing, and incredibly upsetting; and I feel that this is the area in which LaRocca excels.
'The Strange Things We Become' will feel very familiar to those that read 'Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke'. As with that story, this is told in the form of digital media logs, though message board posts this time round. It also deals with similar themes of love,of physical and emotional change, and of what people are willing to do when they're in love. There are parts of this story that have very little explanation, where the reader is left to try and figure it all out themselves, and the not knowing completely is the worst part. We only get brief glimpses of this story because of the way the narrator gives it to us, and that lack of understanding helps it to feel all the more unsettling.
Family also plays a huge role in the stories presented in this collection, and this comes to the forefront towards the latter half of the book where familial connections gets the spotlight. These stories can be the most disturbing because they take a look at how fine the line between love and hate can sometimes be, how your family can drive you to do awful things, and it really gets under your skin.
'I'll Be Gone By Then' follows a woman whose mother is moving to live with her since becoming sick. Having travelled to the US from Italy, and having given up most of her Italian identity, the woman already hates the idea of having her ailing mother coming into her life. Throughout the story we see moments of how this young woman has grown to convince herself that she has to hate her mother, how her carefully constructed present is more important that her past, and we get to see sinister thoughts begin to form in her mind as she tries to find a way of getting rid of her mother for good. The most disturbing part of the story isn't the attempts she makes to do away with her mother, like leaving her locked in a car on a hot day (though these moments are incredibly disturbing), but its the moment when she realises how monstrous she's become, how awful her actions are and tries to take it back that is the most heartbreaking and upsetting.We all have a capacity to do awful things to those we love, it's the realisation of that after the fact and the guilt of having to live with those actions that hurts the most.
'Please Leave Or I'm Going To Hurt You' is the final story in the collection, and whilst not involving things like imagined burning of babies, matricide, or bodily mutilation it might be one of the most disturbing in the bunch in its simplicity. The story follows a man and his elderly father who are hiking out to a remote cemetery, where the father is picking out the plot where he wants to be buried. Along the way we learn that the man has certain romantic desires towards his father, and things kind of only get worse from there. There's nothing truly awful about this story (you're not going to have to read about actual incestuous acts), but the way the topic itself is brought up here, they way the central character goes through things, it all leads you towards a very uncomfortable destination. And that's how the book ends, leaving you feeling....I don't even know how to describe it; but it's not good.
LaRocca seems to know exactly how to get under their readers skin, how to make people feel uncomfortable. There are so many types of horror, and whilst none of these stories frightened me, none of them fell into easily quantifiable horror sub-genres, they each one of them made me feel very uneasy. Reading them left me feeling bad, left me feeling almost dirty because it felt like I'd been taken to some truly disturbing and dark places and was made to take part in some terrible stuff because I saw it through the eyes of some awful people. This might not be a ghostly horror, or a slasher story, nor does it feature monsters, but it's most certainly horrific in its own unique ways.
The Trees Grew Because I Bled There features a number of stories that focus on queer identities, with almost every single one incorporating the queer community in some way. LaRocca is a queer writer, and it's clear that these themes mean a lot to them. LGBTQ+ stories tend to fall into a few neatly defined categories, things like coming out stories, love stories, and tragedies. We're either the victims or oppression and violence, the hopeful young queer out to make a better world, or a sidekick to a cool cis het hero who must be cool because they're down with the gays. But LaRocca's stories show us in a different light. We get to be people. Messy, muddled, complex, and even terrible people. Nothing would change in these stories if the people's sexual orientations were changed, their identities aren't intrinsic to the plots. Instead of being tokens or the inspirational queers they're just people. I love that LaRocca isn't scared of showing this different side of the queer community, and how we're often no different from the straight cisgender ones.
The book has another theme that seems to run through almost every single story in the collection; and those where it wasn't overtly included did seem to at least hint towards it. Cancer plays a big part here. People dying of cancer, people who have already died of it, it doesn't matter how its portrayed, it always seems to be a looming spectre. I don't know if this was a conscious thing LaRocca was doing, if they've had personal experience with the disease and was writing these stories as a way of dealing with it. Chances are though that people reading it will have had experiences with cancer, will have been through it themselves, or lost people to it. I watched both my in-laws die from it and saw what that did to my partner. I lost a friend to it, an amazing young woman who didn't even get to see twenty because of it. My best friend and most beloved companion died in my arms last year because of it. Cancer is cruel. It takes without care and we're all going to come up against it in some way. It's a looming spectre to be feared, and the feelings this book gives you, the horror, the disgust, the awe at cruelty, it all mirrors those feelings that cancer brings out in you. So please, if cancer is something that you're struggling with emotionally, if it's left its scars on you, or if you're dealing with it now, please be aware of it in this book before picking it up.
The Trees Grew Because I Bled There is not an easy read. I wouldn't even say its enjoyable. But its affecting. It's shocking and twisted and it hurts at times. It's not going to be for everyone, and I can understand not even getting all the way through it because it's not fun; but it is a hell of an experience.
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