2024 is a frightening time to be transgender. I speak on this with experience. I see daily 'think pieces' about us in the papers. News media report on us using sensationalised, or outright lying, headlines. Trans people are abused and hounded on social media, as is anyone who speaks up for us. The government is rolling back our rights and limiting our ability to exist. Transphobia is that widespread that one of the Conservative Party leader hopefuls announced her campaign off the back of David Tennant telling her to leave trans people alone in some kind of defiant act of monstrosity that seems to hint that she's planning to be even more bigoted. And in the world of sport, something relevant to this new documentary, a cisgender woman is hounded across the world because JK Rowling, one of the worst transphobes alive, decided that she was a man and began a smear campaign so virulent that legal proceedings have followed. Hell, she even decided to keep going and went after an actual trans athlete in the Paralympics the day before I wrote this.
Trans people are living in fear. There's a sense of general unease to the community that I've seen, and even experienced myself. In the last several years there's been a huge spike in anti-trans hate and hate crime that just daring to live as the person you are is an act of defiance and bravery. So to do so in the public sphere takes even more determination than I can imagine. I have largely stepped back from being more vocal about trans issues compared to how I was in the past as I got so tired of the constant death threats, harassment, and deluge of depression (even though this was when things were relatively better for the community) that I couldn't imagine putting myself forward in the way that Kellie Maloney has.
Knock Out Blonde: The Kellie Maloney Story takes viewers through the life of the titular subject, a life that some people, particularly here in the UK, are probably somewhat familiar with. Born in a very religious and conservative household, Kellie seemed to have a somewhat normal childhood, one that wouldn't hint at the kind of journey she would go on later in life. There are a lot of sensationalised stories of younger trans people in todays media that it's refreshing to see a story focused on someone who did not come out as trans until later in their life. Though, as Kellie and the film makes very clear, that doesn't mean that this was not something that was always looming over her, a spectre from which she could not escape.
Most people would be familiar with Kellie as the manager of boxer Lennox Lewis, who would become one of the greatest boxers in British history. The film briefly covers Kellie's time as his manager, detailing the travel and stress involved in the job, how it put the spotlight on both her and Lennox, and how it affected her personal life. But this isn't a film about boxing, and even when dealing with this part of her life the film continues to discuss her journey as a trans woman, whether that be learning about trans people for the first time, to speaking to trans sex workers on the other side of the world, or hearing first hand about the violence inflicted on trans women by her peers in the boxing world.
This part of the film is interesting, and gives a very honest insight into what it's like living in the closet as a trans woman. For those that haven't been through it themselves there's no real way of comparing it to other things, but Kellie manages to convey a lot of the emotion of this period of her life, the way it was always with her, how it consumed her thoughts, and how the fear of what she might lose and how society would treat her kept her from living her authentic life for so long. She speaks about it very simply and honestly, and I think that a lot of people who've likely never thought about what this might be like will come away with a better understanding of it.
When the film comes to the time when Kellie came out things take a bit of a shift. Watching through the footage of Kellie pre-transition there's something about her that feels off. She's subdued, seems very quiet and lonely, and there's a look of sadness in her eyes a lot of the time. But as soon as she gets to be herself you can see a wonderful change come over her. And I'm not talking about a simple physical change of presenting herself as a woman, there's a change in the way she holds herself; she's no longer seemingly trying to fade away into the background, she's smiling more, there's a light in her eyes, and she genuinely seems happy to be alive. I've seen this change with people, I've been through it myself, and anyone who knows a trans person and is even slightly open and understanding will be able to tell you that a person becomes immediately happier and freer when they come out, and viewers can see that first hand here.
It helps that Kellie had a decent support network around her, and we see this from her eldest daughter Emma, who supported her through every stage of her journey. Seeing footage of the two of them together, or listening to Emma talk on the topic, it seems clear that she was Kellie's biggest supporter. Kellie's younger daughters also make an appearance in the film, and discuss the difficulty that they had at the beginning of Kellie's journey, but how they ultimately came to accept her.
Sadly, Kellie's ex-wife, Tracey seems less of a supporter. She appears in the film only as a talking head, never in footage with Kellie or the rest of the family, and spends the entirety of the film deadnaming and misgendering Kellie. And before anyone comes in with comments like 'but she was talking about Kellie before she transitioned so it's okay', that's not a reason to do that and is still wrong, but also misgenders and deadnames her for every part of their story. The fact that she also expresses opinions like wanting Kellie to stay in the closet and suffering for years to 'make it easier for the kids' makes her come across as horribly bigoted, and her inclusion in the film, able to express such sentiments, feels rather gross. But then again, this does showcase the kind of negativity and disgusting attitudes trans people can experience from the people who are supposed to love them.
Despite this one inclusion, everyone else in the film showcases the beauty of Kellie's new life now. Her conservative, religious mother accepts her fully, and loves having a daughter. Kellie's brother, who at one point admits that in the beginning he wanted to kill Kellie for transitioning not only uses the right name and pronouns for her, but appears on camera with her, showing his support and love for his sister. The film shows that whilst transition is not easy, it doesn't have to end badly, that most people will see that it's the best thing for the person going through it, that it allows someone to live, to be happy, and that ultimately it doesn't hurt anyone.
I've seen some reviews of the film mentioning how the film stretches itself out, or becomes self indulgent, and even some that claim it 'overstretch itself as it proselytises for the transgender cause' (but that's the deeply transphobic Guardian, so they can fuck off straight away). I can't help but think that perhaps these publications are coming to this from the point of view that any discussion on trans people, especially trans joy, is too much. With the loudest voices around trying to monster a minority group anything that shows them as people is going to get some pushback. Perhaps I'm a bit too close on this subject, and I may get accused of giving the film a free pass because I'm trans, but I honestly think that it's a well put together, deeply honest story about the trans experience and one woman's journey. And whilst Kellie's story is very, very different from the average trans person, it's still one that is worth hearing.
Trans people have always been here, and we'll always continue to be here no matter how many laws are passed against us, or how many of us you kill. Our stories deserve to get told, and Knock Out Blonde: The Kellie Maloney Story does that with care and grace.
Knock Out Blonde: The Kellie Maloney Story is available in select UK cinemas, and on the IFC Channel today with a home release available on 7th October,
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